Its Tuesday the 28th of December, but when I finish this entry it will be Wednesday the 29th of December.Freaky eh ?!?

Inspired by a mate who I gave my best advice to on MSN about women recently

Sidenote #1 - I'm always giving out advice the past few years to people. Why is this?? I mean I'm obviously good at it,I've set enough people up but seeing how crap I was with girls for the first 18 years of my life,and hardly been amazing in the 19th it is a mystery. Possibly the amount of women magazines I read. Does this mean I'm destined to be a Matt Hatt? If I had an identical twin we could give each other advice...Having an identical twin,that would be cool....

Anyway after giving the advice I realised that guys do take a lot more crap from women then we should. Women will flirt with anyone ,lead guys on and enjoy the power control. This is why females get better exam results then men,not that their smarter,they just know how manipulate others.

Sidenote #2 - Dont bother shaking your heads at this women,its my blog.Im right.

They're just like the scottish character off 'Little Britain', talking in riddles all the time. THEN,THEN,they have the NERVE to write books on how to understand men.Which women actually BUY,like we are some kind of pet like a dog. All you need to do is be honest and straight talking to a bloke and he'll like you.Obviously not if your ugly,lets be serious here. Being honest to a bloke and telling him if he's not faithful,you will kick his nuts in

Sidenote #3 - Any bloke who has just read that is feeling a bit uncomfy. It's not something to joke about,even saying "I will kick you in the nuts" will make a guy feel awkward. Dont compare it to giving birth..you get something at the end of it,we dont. And you bring it on yourselves. We dont get broody for 8 months a year and long for someone to kick us between the legs.Do not compare.

Anyway rant over,what have I been up to this month

School Reunion - Just amazing.Our tutor (JPW) has the biggest support by far and a great time was had by all. Whitehead was the funniest guy up there ,possibly only outshadowed by the tutor who turned up drunk and didnt have a clue what his students had done

Sidenote #4 - "Tom Dale is a sporty lad who does Football,Rugby for Clarendon and Tai Chi"

Thats fine,apart from the fact we didnt have a rugby team in 6th form,Damon is fairly sure Tom Dale never played for the school for football and him having been the captain and picked the teams I guess he would know. Tom hasnt done Tai Chi since he was 10.You figure....

Whitehead actually probably said some of the nicest things anyone ever has about me. Including my parents. Especially the mentioning of my Pollard impression when he was in the room,touch of class there,especially with the laugh i got. He also mentioned my humour,going out of my way for others and generally being a nice guy,the stuff ive based myself on over the past 4 years.It would be arrogant and rude of me to claim I got the biggest clap. But I did and its the truth and my blog so I will anyway. When I actually got the certificates I was hoping they were going to be better and the grades may have somehow changed.Luckily theres nothing Tippex cant change and im now the proud owner of the highest grades in Clarendon history.
Another good thing was the lack of paper coverage of the event by the Wiltshire Times.It meant I could lie and say there were no awards and that no one was actually smarter then me

Sidenote #5 -

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[img]http://www.pulpmovies.com/blog/images/krytensmug.jpg[/img]

Completly off topic - Gristy and his cameo Kryten

The only other thing of note was really Christmas - I hope you all had a good time this year. We had Cockeral instead of Turkey (Dunno why to be honest)
so there were many jokes being made by me. Probably the first christmas where I spent mopre then I recieved. Its meant to be the meaning of Christmas,yet I just feel ripped off. Seeing as its impossible to get anything for my mum anyway she'll like I just bought her a dressing gown and kept the reciept. She has a perfectly good dressing gown.It was 7am on Christmas Eve and I'd just done the mother of all night shifts. As said before,you cant please women.

Sidenote #6 - Thank god Stu was at the night shifts too. Just like days of old with Peter Kay recieted from heart,one liners so sharp they could cut ...metal . I did have a quality time,having a laugh,helping the elderly and most importantly of all,trying to climb out of debt.

Im now stuck with nothing to eat but crap,theres no good chocolates left and no booze,only 6 2litre bottles of cheap lemonade If I dont make it back to Southampton JP,say goodbye to Lisa for me

Cheers Gem - Thats an hour of sleep I've missed :P

Word of the Day - Thrush - Not so gobby now are you ladies?....

Tip of the Day - Gte Ricky Gervais -Politics - The best stand up comedy ever

Byeeeeeeeeeee