Wednesday the 9th April 2008
There's 37 things I hate.....
When I was 16, I could start to plan having legal sex in a few years time, and more importantly I could buy a cutlery set from a supermarket without being I'D
When I was 18, I could buy alcohol legally. It didn't taste as nice as it did when I was 17 granted but its still a big milestone.
When I was 22, I celebrated my birthday by working in an editing suite for 8 hours fuelled only by coffee, went home and bought my own birthday cake and worked on my own in my bedroom stressing over a presentation for the next day.
And overnight I became grumpy.
Very very grumpy.
And I love it.
So please don't get too offended,lots of these faults I do as well.
The Internet
1. Any ad pop ups when I'm trying to browse a website,especially the ones that take more then a second to get rid of or find the X to close it.
Facebook
2. Anyone who updates their status more then once every 2-3 days. Especially those who do it more then once a day. And the majority of these people are changing their status to complain they have too much work,or are too busy or cant get motivated...
3. Anyone with more then 500- 750 pictures of themselves on Facebook
4. Anyone with more then 400 friends on Facebook. We know your not that popular....
5. Anyone who adds me on Facebook who I'm not friends with... Adding me because we went to school together where I didn't speak or acknowledge your existence for 5 or 7 years is pointless. I've had five years to find you and talk to you and ask how your doing, I didn't... move on.
6. Anyone who nominates me for ANY fucking Facebook application. ANY of them. Just scrolling through the list of ones I have to now delete..' Which Super Mario am I...' , ' Which Disney princess am I' ... Please please please don't send them to me - I have a degree for fucks sake...
7. Writing on your own wall - Don't do it,it doesn't look good. If it's a message for someone else just put it on their wall... it's not hard...
8.Anyone who's stupid enough to have joined the 'RIP Neil Buchanan Group' on Facebook when he's not even dead. There is a number of rubbish groups out there but this is the worst,tackiest and most disgusting I've seen for a group for,saying a man is dead when he isn't...
Photographs
9. Doing the hand on your chin pose pretending to look intelligent. It was funny when we were 17,18,19 - when you hit twenty just stop it, you look a dick....
10. Anyone who takes photos of themselves with their own camera just holding the camera away and pointing at themselves. Just find someone to take it for you, is it that hard? Do you know its the penultimate way to take a tacky photo - its never going to look good.
11. Taking a photograph of yourself in a mirror - The ultimate way to produce a truly tacky crap photograph. When will it ever look good really? There's me there in the photograph, with the sun glaring in the background - but you can just make me out...
"Why not just get someone to take it"
"No need with a mirror and a flash camera, I'm thinking outside the box"
Good for you
On MSN Messenger...
12. Nudging me if I take longer then 10 seconds to reply to you
13. Attention seeking MSN names. If you have a problem,well I'm sorry but you've got friends to say 'Can i have a chat too?' and if your on my MSN list then I'm one of them. Don't have as your MSN name 'Same old Rubbish,Don't know why I bother' - 'New Start New Me' or anything like that because I'm fairly sure you know what you're doing and your looking for attention.
14. Same above goes for Facebook status...
15. Anyone with a MSN name only one other person will get, just seems incredibly pointless...
16. Same for Facebook status again.
17. Anyone who says 'LOL' every other line. 'LOL' stands for 'Laughing out Loud'. So if something is said in the conversation that does make you 'Laugh out Loud', then sure,use it...
If I say something that makes you smile,don't use it. You didn't laugh. If you didn't even smile certainly don't use it. There are so many other things you can say and I just don't want a conversation where every other line is 'LOL' ... Yes I'm a funny-ish guy apparently but even so...
18. So if you didn't Laugh out Loud,the chances are you didn't Laugh out Loud whilst rolling on the floor. So why claim you did. And its more letters then 'LOL' and ironically both are meant to be shorthands for conversation which are actually longer then 'Ok' which is what you should have said.
19. Anyone who says 'LOL','ROFL' etc in real life conversation. How is it cool or trendy or clever... I just actually want to shoot you if you ever do that in a conversation you have with me really.
Football
20. Whinging about supporting a local team and how everyone should do it. I watched Bristol City in October Vs Charlton and I genuinely would have got more entertainment from setting fire to my £20 it cost to buy the sodding ticket. I would also have been much warmer.
I enjoy supporting Arsenal, simple as that. I don't care that they aren't local to me, I can support who I want. And just how local is 'local' - An English team, a team in the South West, my local town team... Democracy is what it's about and if my teams not local who cares!
21. BUT .. but but but but, if you pick a team, you stick with them through anything. The second you move to another team because another team wins promotion,or the Premiership,or Champions League is the second you sacrifice loyalty and passion for simple glory which goes a long way to summing you up as a person really. (In my opinion,which may not reflect those of others... but you know it does)
22. So when you've picked your team,unless they aren't in this country you should have watched them by now. At least once. Ive been stuck on the Arsenal waiting list since I was 16 and was so desperate to see them play I actually signed up for Southampton membership and watched them in the Saints end when I was at uni. Ive seen Arsenal four times in total and Man United twice as well. If I can do it,no excuse really.
Mobile
23. Putting 'Tb' at the end of a text. I get the feeling if Hitler was around today he'd put that at the end of his texts....
24. Putting 'Ptb' at the end - now your just incredibly clingy.. Please text me,Please,please - your my only friend...its like your clinging onto my leg and I need to shake you off.
25. Leaving me an answer phone message instead of a text, there's no need unless your a business e.g Tesco - They pay for my phone credit.
Television
26. Catherine Tate Show - Just stealing ideas from other shows,maybe 3 original sketches a show and not one that's funny.
27. Will and Grace - Narrowly beating Tate to worst comedy ever.
28. - X Factor - Goes on for half a year,attracts people who cant sing for the first month and produces a winner that has a 20-25% chance of still being around the year after.
29. Cash in the Attic - The single worst show on television ever. Never before has a show shown how greedy,material obsessed and unconcerned with family past an individual can be. I've seen families sell Grandads war medals he earned serving his country to, and I quote ' Get one of those really nice big plasma TVs for the front room'....
Others
30. Asking me if I've ever dug up dinosaur bones - No I haven't, I study human remains,Dinosaur stuff is much deeper.
31. Anyone who tells me Ricky Gervais is obnoxious and arrogant without having the intelligence to fathom its actually an act.
32. Comments that I take my laptop everywhere - There's probably a good reason for it, have you seen my writing? Are you aware I spend an hour and a half on the train every weekday... And if I've got it open at the pub rather then join in the conversation, then talk about something interesting and I'll close it in a second. Bare in mind you are competing against instant pornography here.
33. Comments students don't do any work... co incidentally from people who haven't been to uni and the last book they read was 'Champ the Wonder Horse'.
34. People who still go out,drink too much,get pissed EVERY Fri/Sat night and then when asked about their evening the next morning say 'Drank far too much'. Getting drunk every once in a while is fun enough, every weekend though? It's not as if we're going to suddenly think you're a hero for drinking that 10th pint and trying to kiss me whilst chatting up anyone you see with a voice so slurred you cant even hear what your saying!
35. When you meet someone in the supermarket you haven't seen for ages and have a 10-15 minute chat to them to catch up and then you walk past them down another aisle 3 minutes later. What do you say,nothings changed - you just pretend they aren't there and walk on,it's probably the most awkward situation there is.
36.People who talk to me who claim to know me who I cant remember. I'm forced to maintain a conversation,while ask questions that will try to help me narrow down where I know the person from whilst bluffing I remember him should he ask 'Do you even remember my name?'
37. Anyone who judges me for reading the sun. Firstly I read it for the football strip Striker, I have £25 of shares invested in it. Secondly I read books on post processual archaeological theorems, stratigraphy,material culture etc every day . If I want to read a builders paper for 15 minutes then it's to save my brain more then anything.
The topless lady is just a added bonus.
Thanks for Reading! Feel free to comment below
There's 37 things I hate.....
When I was 16, I could start to plan having legal sex in a few years time, and more importantly I could buy a cutlery set from a supermarket without being I'D
When I was 18, I could buy alcohol legally. It didn't taste as nice as it did when I was 17 granted but its still a big milestone.
When I was 22, I celebrated my birthday by working in an editing suite for 8 hours fuelled only by coffee, went home and bought my own birthday cake and worked on my own in my bedroom stressing over a presentation for the next day.
And overnight I became grumpy.
Very very grumpy.
And I love it.
So please don't get too offended,lots of these faults I do as well.
The Internet
1. Any ad pop ups when I'm trying to browse a website,especially the ones that take more then a second to get rid of or find the X to close it.
2. Anyone who updates their status more then once every 2-3 days. Especially those who do it more then once a day. And the majority of these people are changing their status to complain they have too much work,or are too busy or cant get motivated...
3. Anyone with more then 500- 750 pictures of themselves on Facebook
4. Anyone with more then 400 friends on Facebook. We know your not that popular....
5. Anyone who adds me on Facebook who I'm not friends with... Adding me because we went to school together where I didn't speak or acknowledge your existence for 5 or 7 years is pointless. I've had five years to find you and talk to you and ask how your doing, I didn't... move on.
6. Anyone who nominates me for ANY fucking Facebook application. ANY of them. Just scrolling through the list of ones I have to now delete..' Which Super Mario am I...' , ' Which Disney princess am I' ... Please please please don't send them to me - I have a degree for fucks sake...
7. Writing on your own wall - Don't do it,it doesn't look good. If it's a message for someone else just put it on their wall... it's not hard...
8.Anyone who's stupid enough to have joined the 'RIP Neil Buchanan Group' on Facebook when he's not even dead. There is a number of rubbish groups out there but this is the worst,tackiest and most disgusting I've seen for a group for,saying a man is dead when he isn't...
Photographs
9. Doing the hand on your chin pose pretending to look intelligent. It was funny when we were 17,18,19 - when you hit twenty just stop it, you look a dick....
10. Anyone who takes photos of themselves with their own camera just holding the camera away and pointing at themselves. Just find someone to take it for you, is it that hard? Do you know its the penultimate way to take a tacky photo - its never going to look good.
11. Taking a photograph of yourself in a mirror - The ultimate way to produce a truly tacky crap photograph. When will it ever look good really? There's me there in the photograph, with the sun glaring in the background - but you can just make me out...
"Why not just get someone to take it"
"No need with a mirror and a flash camera, I'm thinking outside the box"
Good for you
On MSN Messenger...
12. Nudging me if I take longer then 10 seconds to reply to you
13. Attention seeking MSN names. If you have a problem,well I'm sorry but you've got friends to say 'Can i have a chat too?' and if your on my MSN list then I'm one of them. Don't have as your MSN name 'Same old Rubbish,Don't know why I bother' - 'New Start New Me' or anything like that because I'm fairly sure you know what you're doing and your looking for attention.
14. Same above goes for Facebook status...
15. Anyone with a MSN name only one other person will get, just seems incredibly pointless...
16. Same for Facebook status again.
17. Anyone who says 'LOL' every other line. 'LOL' stands for 'Laughing out Loud'. So if something is said in the conversation that does make you 'Laugh out Loud', then sure,use it...
If I say something that makes you smile,don't use it. You didn't laugh. If you didn't even smile certainly don't use it. There are so many other things you can say and I just don't want a conversation where every other line is 'LOL' ... Yes I'm a funny-ish guy apparently but even so...
18. So if you didn't Laugh out Loud,the chances are you didn't Laugh out Loud whilst rolling on the floor. So why claim you did. And its more letters then 'LOL' and ironically both are meant to be shorthands for conversation which are actually longer then 'Ok' which is what you should have said.
19. Anyone who says 'LOL','ROFL' etc in real life conversation. How is it cool or trendy or clever... I just actually want to shoot you if you ever do that in a conversation you have with me really.
Football
20. Whinging about supporting a local team and how everyone should do it. I watched Bristol City in October Vs Charlton and I genuinely would have got more entertainment from setting fire to my £20 it cost to buy the sodding ticket. I would also have been much warmer.
I enjoy supporting Arsenal, simple as that. I don't care that they aren't local to me, I can support who I want. And just how local is 'local' - An English team, a team in the South West, my local town team... Democracy is what it's about and if my teams not local who cares!
21. BUT .. but but but but, if you pick a team, you stick with them through anything. The second you move to another team because another team wins promotion,or the Premiership,or Champions League is the second you sacrifice loyalty and passion for simple glory which goes a long way to summing you up as a person really. (In my opinion,which may not reflect those of others... but you know it does)
22. So when you've picked your team,unless they aren't in this country you should have watched them by now. At least once. Ive been stuck on the Arsenal waiting list since I was 16 and was so desperate to see them play I actually signed up for Southampton membership and watched them in the Saints end when I was at uni. Ive seen Arsenal four times in total and Man United twice as well. If I can do it,no excuse really.
Mobile
23. Putting 'Tb' at the end of a text. I get the feeling if Hitler was around today he'd put that at the end of his texts....
24. Putting 'Ptb' at the end - now your just incredibly clingy.. Please text me,Please,please - your my only friend...its like your clinging onto my leg and I need to shake you off.
25. Leaving me an answer phone message instead of a text, there's no need unless your a business e.g Tesco - They pay for my phone credit.
Television
26. Catherine Tate Show - Just stealing ideas from other shows,maybe 3 original sketches a show and not one that's funny.
27. Will and Grace - Narrowly beating Tate to worst comedy ever.
28. - X Factor - Goes on for half a year,attracts people who cant sing for the first month and produces a winner that has a 20-25% chance of still being around the year after.
29. Cash in the Attic - The single worst show on television ever. Never before has a show shown how greedy,material obsessed and unconcerned with family past an individual can be. I've seen families sell Grandads war medals he earned serving his country to, and I quote ' Get one of those really nice big plasma TVs for the front room'....
Others
30. Asking me if I've ever dug up dinosaur bones - No I haven't, I study human remains,Dinosaur stuff is much deeper.
31. Anyone who tells me Ricky Gervais is obnoxious and arrogant without having the intelligence to fathom its actually an act.
32. Comments that I take my laptop everywhere - There's probably a good reason for it, have you seen my writing? Are you aware I spend an hour and a half on the train every weekday... And if I've got it open at the pub rather then join in the conversation, then talk about something interesting and I'll close it in a second. Bare in mind you are competing against instant pornography here.
33. Comments students don't do any work... co incidentally from people who haven't been to uni and the last book they read was 'Champ the Wonder Horse'.
34. People who still go out,drink too much,get pissed EVERY Fri/Sat night and then when asked about their evening the next morning say 'Drank far too much'. Getting drunk every once in a while is fun enough, every weekend though? It's not as if we're going to suddenly think you're a hero for drinking that 10th pint and trying to kiss me whilst chatting up anyone you see with a voice so slurred you cant even hear what your saying!
35. When you meet someone in the supermarket you haven't seen for ages and have a 10-15 minute chat to them to catch up and then you walk past them down another aisle 3 minutes later. What do you say,nothings changed - you just pretend they aren't there and walk on,it's probably the most awkward situation there is.
36.People who talk to me who claim to know me who I cant remember. I'm forced to maintain a conversation,while ask questions that will try to help me narrow down where I know the person from whilst bluffing I remember him should he ask 'Do you even remember my name?'
37. Anyone who judges me for reading the sun. Firstly I read it for the football strip Striker, I have £25 of shares invested in it. Secondly I read books on post processual archaeological theorems, stratigraphy,material culture etc every day . If I want to read a builders paper for 15 minutes then it's to save my brain more then anything.
The topless lady is just a added bonus.
Thanks for Reading! Feel free to comment below
posted by Gareth @ Wednesday, April 09, 2008
3 comments
