Day five-Saterday the 29th of November

Well like I said,I didn;t have enough time last night for an update,but a good hour tonight to ramble on.And ramble we will.

Found out the trains arent running in Trowbridge at the moment.Usually not a problem..However the scum at Bristol have my wallet and are charging me £2 plus another 50p per day they have it.Seeing as I cant get it without a train I'm incredibly frustrated.The operator wasn't much use either..

THEM>Hello Temple Meads station Ang speaking how can I help you?
ME>Hi,you have my wallet I believe
THEM>Do we?
ME>You better do,I'm ringing an 0800 number here !
THEM> Can you describe it please
ME>Its a wallet with a G on the front and a driving license and tesco card
THEM>Um..Anything else
ME>How many wallets do you have up there with a G on the front and a driving license and tesco card?
THEM>We have one with 2 photographs of two different girls in.

Silence for about five seconds/a lifetime as I realise that I have photos of my penfriend Beata in there as well as an old one of Vicky which to be honest I dont know why I still had in there..She probably thought I was some kind of pimp.

ME>Um..yeah thats it,how much will it cost to get it back
THEM>£2 handling Mr Brown and 50p every aditional day
ME>Um are you able to send it to Trowbridge
THEM>No It has to stay in Bristol
ME>Well I cant get it with the trains not running
THEM>Cant you get one of your friends to pick it up for you,One of the girls
ME>No,I'll have to get it myself,Thanks a lot!
THEM>Good luck Mr Br...

At this point I just hung up in frustration.Bastards all of them.

Scored again in football,quite satisfying.Im def playing better then before and quite pleased with myself.Still a mystery why we loose so often to the year 12 with the team we can produce.

Not much to report at work,highlight was when I nearly put a twenty pence piece in a 50 pence piece section.Thats gives u some idea of how eventful being a TESCO cashier can be.Carried a trolly out for a customer and she nearly cried when I refused her tip of £1.

Anyway onto the night out,where I hope to go into detail about how I view these 'social gatherings' most Fri eves.

Firstly,what type of drinker will you be for the evening.I break these up into three main catergories.

Number 1 - The coward

Maybe he has cash to blow,maybe he doesn't want to drink but the coward will drink like a female would all night,which is acceptable if it is a female,but your best friend,the 18yr old who you play football with everyday and copy homework from!!!

Whats he drinking:Any of those 'Panda pop' drinks like 'Reef' for example.Ponce

Pro's:He's the guy who wont be pissed all night who you have to carry home.Also no hangover.And your breath tatses of Fruits of the Forest if you score instead of special brew

Cons:Its expensive,£1.50-£2.50 a go and you wont get drunk
You'll piss like a girl all night,so if you do score it wont be for long
You'll look like a girl

Number 2 - The Geordie
Most people fall under this one,the guys who just want a simple pint and dont care what happens to them.

Whats he drinking:Guiness,vodka and coke

Pro's:Looking like a man and socialising at the same time
Getting drunk,suddenly looking attractive to yourself and brimming with self confidence
You fit in with the crowd,are you really popular enough to be different?

Cons:Its still costly as when your drunk you just keep going
Need the time to pace yourself out
Stink of beer at night clubs
Still going to the toilet a bit

Number 3 - Mr Desperate
He wants to get pissed,he doesnt care how much or where.Just now !! Now dammit !

Whats he drinking - Vodka,after shock

Pros - He'll get rat assed,pull some decent bird and get a kebab home and still have change from a nightclub
He can go from sobre to pissed in 0-20 seconds

Cons - He needs to trust his friends to get him home
He'll be a twat all night,punch him now

Ok so I decided to be option one,I had cash to spend and didnt fancy the hangover,work at 12 next day.

To my horror,everyone was spilt up due to prices and Id'ing and the like,therefore meaning i would need to drink at three different places which I achieved admirably.I was on my 6th panda pop although I might as well had been drinking water really.I was only a bit typsy if that.

Anyway turned up to the 'Pig' about 10.30ish and soon enduring in a brew and a bop and a drinking contest which I won,easily.

Sidenote #1 Yes I did win it Gemma,you still had half a shot of vodka left

However dancing I soon became a victim of UFS

Gareth,what is UFS ?

UFS is a term I made up to describe a natural pheonomeon which occurs in every nightclub...
UGLY FRIEND SYNDROME

You know the score,you've eyed up that Brunnette,shes seen you.Your soon dancing and your trying to figure out the best time to snog her while pissed.Suddenly from nowhere comes your worst nightmare..
HER BEST FRIEND
Yes while this fit brunnetes been with you,shes been drinking panda pops all night and the silly mare's decided to have a vodka shot and is now emotional.Shes jealous of her friend.If she cant have your fine body,neither can she.. And shes soon pulling her away before you've had a chance to do anything,even touch her ass !! And you can kiss goodbye to seeing her again,ever.You've blown it buddy

That my friends is UFS,and if your laughing at this,thats because you know its so so so true

So nothing really happened.I got struck by UFS twice and called it a night and left with L'Hillman.Highlights include yelling abuse at everyone on the way home and singing Gold and Angels at the top of our voices.Oh yes your only 18 once.

So what did I get up to today,nothing really.Wasnt really hung over but the ringing still hasnt gone from the ears.Work wasn't to bad,express tills for 6 hours,time passes quicker but you have to work like a man.And now i'm here writing down all these memorys before they go away from my short term memory.
Whether thats good or not,im not sure...

Anyway I owe you guys two words of the day,Try and fit them into a random sentence tomorrow and show off your IQ !

Word of the day - Contiments
Word of the day - Black smith

Thought of the day:If you could give up 5 points of your IQ,to be able to jump an extra foot in the air.How many points would you give up ?

Byeeeeeee

Day four-Thursday the 27th of November

Been one of those days where I feel like i've done nothing.No written work in school,no homework done,havent been to work.I didn't even score in football,or assist.All in all very disapointed with myself,I'll never get to Cardiff uni putting this little effort in so am hoping for a few goals tomorrow
Dont have a clue what to get Justin for a present tomorrow,I cant do a slideshow,Luke's pointed out,thats what Justin did to me.Cant get him clothes,they would either not fit or would never be worn and if I get him a voucher he'd prob rip it up.Thankfully I get paid tomorrow so can have a look around bath
Quite annoying that you cant get a reply book or counter to se how many people look at this.All feedback is welcome,you all know my email vivalagruff@hotmail.com I doubt any of you can be assed to email about it but I didnt want to give you any excuses.
I'm probably not writting an entry tomorrow,If i do it will either be short as hell or written while pissed.Either way it wont be pretty so will give it a miss.

07.00-12.50 Getting ready and partaking in lessons
12.50-13.45 Year 12 Vs Year 13 match
14.00- 16.00 Hopefully travelling to bath and Bristol with my good friend Mr Lugg,need ot be reunited with my lost wallet i dropped there a month ago
17-00 -21.00 - Work,covering a shift
21.00-Early hours of the morning-Celebrating 18 years of Mr Bice

Since I probably wont get to say it tomorrow,lets hope chelsea vs Man united is a draw.I have a feeling Arsenal may slip up against Fulham,its the lack of depth we have in the squad and is very frustrating when you compare us to teams like chelsea and manchest united who can sign what they want.Wenger has proved time after time he is superior to Ferg in tatics and in money handling,A premiership and fa cup this year and getting somewhere in the champions league will give us the cash we need for our new stadium and help maintain our hold as the best football team in england (after swindon town)

Anyway thats me done,no jokes tonight..
hang on

Bloke comes home from work excited one day."Honey,great news,my numbers came up on the lottery,I'm a millionaire !!!"
The wife runs down the stairs excited and screams "Oh my god Oh my god"
"I know honey,go and pack your bags quick"
"Oh wow,where too,America,Paris ?"
"I dont care,long as your out the house by twelve"

Thank you and Goodnight

Word of The Day - Xylaphone

Day Three:Wednesday the 26th November

Arsenal won last night.Won isnt really the right word.5-1 away.If your not an Arsenal fan then you probably dont care,maybe you feel glad,its an english victory,maybe your pissed off,thats another 53 quid you'll never see again Lanbrookes have taken.But if your an Arsenal fan like me then I hope your just as proud of your team as I was today.Came in wearing the scarf,the shirt everything.Got beaten up twice and had my dinner money taken by a group of spurs fans.
Am still tired,partly from getting to sleep at one this morning and partly due to carrying my bag around full of crap all day



'Whats in the Bag'

1x Psy exercise book 1 x history book (the wrong one!) 1 x theatre book
1 x drama script 1 x psy health txt book 1x british politics book
1 x joke book (bird puller) 1 x cd player (removes unwanted conversations)
1 x Mirror (as in the paper,im not that vain)

Sidenote:Why the hell do girls pack so much make up in their bag.Seriously if you ever are looking for a girl try the girls toilets or any other place with a mirror because I guarentee they will be there with half the stock of Boots.I wouldnt mind but its a horrible shock for any guy when he pulls a stunner,wakes up next to her the next morning and without the makeup on she looks like one of the rejects from the PG tips adverts.

Sidenote #2 This has never happened to me.I swear.

Sidenote #3 It bloody hasn't Stop smirking
Anywho back to the bag ...

1 X deodrant 1 x anti persperiant....No they are not both the same thing..look on the back of each can.

1 x tesco shirt 1 x suit trousers 1 x suit jacket 1 x denim jacket 1 x shoes size 12

Sidenote #4 Why do girls have such small feet? I mean some in our year are tiny! Do girls have a foot growing spurt when they are 18-20 because I dont see how the poor buggers can carry that kind of wait with them all their lives.And why do girls wear such awful shoes they cant walk in anyway ? It like theyve bought a barbie,stripped it and just kept the shoes! Every time a girls getting ready for a date they seem determined to buy a pair of shoes even harder to walk in then last time,it's like a challenge to them!!
Anyway thats why my backs hurting now.Lessons been pretty boring,spent my time constuctively learning two amazing facts

Fact #1 The human brain can read a sentence correctly,even if you take out every single vowel.

One word..Bollocks.Im determind to prove it wrong

Here we go...or should I say Hr w g...yeah thats making sense

Y r s grt..You are so great

Im not even going to waste my time thinking up more examples,once again i have proved science wrong

Fact #2 A cow can go upstairs,but it will never walk down them

Amazing,can you imagine the poor bloke who found that out !!

Average day at work.Public apology to Gemma for ruining her hair....im not proud I did it and if i could do it again I would certainly reconsider my actions......



Word of the day-Ale

Day Two: Tuesday the 25th of November

Lot of positive public feedback from the first entry so as I promised to both of you I will keep the diary up for a bit...Very mentally challenging day.Proudly took the cheque from the football game into Abbey National and the miserable cow behind the counter didn't even say thank you or smile.I mean it's not hard it really isn't.Obviously the kids in Africa cant do it,they're digging a well or being pictured with flies on their face for one of those annoying 5 min charity ads you get on channel 4 before countdown on a teacher training day.So I feel its the cashiers duty to smile,if i cared enough I would write a letter in to complain.
Finally finished off my UCAS form,cant describe how much of a relief that is.Felt like I was going to cry when my personal statment was 3 lines too much...anyway its send off now and hopefully I can get my place in Cardiff.Im starting to worry a bit about the other places I picked.Basically I only want to go to Cardiff so I picked another 5 at random.Reading isn't too bad,get to watch the football with swadey but Nottingham...Southampton..I even put myself down for Kent for god sake! I mean KENT! Im sure they will be packed out full of offers...not.
Broadband,everyone should have it.Downloaded 'Crazy in Love' while typing this up.Apparently they are starting to put viruses on music files so have been stopping the downloads for a bit,will buy Jackson album on Fri upon being paid,partly as a stand that hes innocent,partly because its amazing.

Question of the Day:Is Micheal Jackson really 'Bad' enough to be a 'Smooth Criminal'

Sorry..
Anyway expecting about 400 this month so begining spending plans aleady.Need to crack on with psy coursework tonight and im still so tired..Better be signing off soon.
Beatiful goal scored by yours truly at football,am scoring far more this season...I feel the power is in the trainers.Should be they cost 40 quid....

Word of the day:Encylopedia

Day One Monday the 24th of November

Bloody freezing outside,just got back in from picking the mother up from work,v hard to type with numb fingers...Who invented the keyboard..Why is it the QWERTY system? Blatently thats not his surname..unless he's portugese I guess.Aparently England are flying home now,due back 5am..The Sun claims that they've given the cup a seat of its own but the plane was full before they left so I dont know if they're making Johnny sit on the floor cos he's the youngst or what.Maybe they left someone behind..Potential for a Home Alone 5 there.
Satisfying amount of work done in silence today at the library,essay and history homework.Old cow across the table just simply could not read her paper in silence,blatently making noises every time she turned the page or said "Well Well" every two seconds.I wudnt have minded but the paper was three days old,I mean does she not own a TV or wireless or whatever ! She'd have been the first to complain if I'd put on my cd player ! Bloke who works there started crying as well.Pratt.Thats actually his name,Pratt.Wonder how much dinner money he actually spend at school without getting beaten up,not a lot I bet.Anyway he didnt like the fact I was pretty much using an entire table as a office.Saw a plug under there so might bring the phone charger in next time and save myself 5p on the electric bill.Potential for bringing the paper shredder in too...esp if im sat by that cow again,second she starts making a noise and BRRRRRR in go the first eight sheets.....

Word of the Day- Blatently