Friday the 4th January 2008
I promise I'll finish off Exmoor part 2 (from what I can still remember of it) and the other stuff I've been up to soon, but I've been meaning to get this post out the way for about four years so i'll nail it today as it seems a really appropriate time.
When your in 6th form,your lessons seemed to be more fun. You're not wearing uniform (or the disgusting white polo shirts we started wearing) , you call the teacher by the first name and have regular access to the coffee machine where you could get a cup of truly awful mud water for just 35p, (a lot of my Tesco wages must have gone there).
For me,psychology lessons were my favorite because of the atmosphere of the class. It was in fact,so much fun that I started to record the random things that happened in each class from the back of the room,alongside Richard Hawkes and Belinda my right hand man (and woman) in the hope of typing them up into the blog one day.
Now seems a really good time to do this and dedicate the post to two people.
Jason Whiley left Clarendon this winter and taught me since I was 14.He was one of the best and most popular teachers around and I learned more about life from him and ways to look at the world then any one else at Clarendon and was a really relaxed and brilliant guy to have teach you (apart from about Watergate). Jase, its a big thanks to you that I am who I am today,whether it's writing religious stories with Arsenal players involved,or THAT phone call to Bristol Zoo. Cheers for your support and you'll be a big loss to the Clarendon kids coming up this year.
The other guy is Lee Anteney who was a mate since year 7 and in the same psychology class. When you read through the blog entry you'll notice he's not mentioned. Thats because Lee didn't have to show off like me to get attention and be popular, he was always himself and so polite to everyone. He was the very definition of a nice guy.
My favorite memory of him is two years ago playing a series game against the year below. Lee was running towards their goal and had beaten about 2 players already and found himself with just the keeper to beat with an easy finish,whilst I'm sprinting/waddling up the pitch screaming for the ball. Rather then take the glory,Lee passes it to me and I just swing at air with an open goal and fall over. Lee just looks at me in the mud and we both laugh as he helps me up.
I'm really sorry Lee that I didn't make more effort to see you when I found out you were ill and a few texts from me was nowhere near enough. I was too worried about my little problems like my break up and MA course beginning. Thank you so much for the memories and thanks for being such a good mate,I wont forget you.
RIP
...........................................................................
The Psychology Diaries
20th Oct 2003
Flying Saucers bought. Lesson starts late. Whiley (JCW) is wearing purple - AGAIN!. Flying Saucers NOT good value for money,will stick to malteasers in future. Selina puts on her glasses and finds a penny in the case. JCW gets closing to yelling - rare occurance,is he stressed? Beckys boyfriend apparently 'shakes' .Debate if JCW is Scottish. Lesson ends 3 mins early.
23rd Oct 2003
JCW isn't in.Chaos reigns. No one plays Pictionary with Gareth,leaving him distraught. Belinda tidies her bag, she has pretty much all of Boots stock in it. Selina and Yvonne swap with each others diets for a day. Highlight of a poor hour.
3rd Nov 2003
Belinda ruins Gareth 2 hour essay and thinks its funny. JCW attempts American accent and fails. Gareth moves away from Belinda and sits next to Damon. Belinda looks distraught on her own and cant cope. Gareth is more cheerful immediately.
6th Nov 2003
JCW swears? Debate if 'Piss' is a swear word. Selina asks "a very intelligent question" JCW attempts to impersonate Tintin ,fails. He then tells a crap joke and claims he got it from his four year old daughter. Shows the class crap colouring in and claims it is from his four year old daughter.No one believes him.
10th Nov 2003
No Belinda,Gareth struggles to be the joker of the class and write the diary at the same time. Buys Ferreo Roche to annoy her when she comes back. Gareth finishes work first and considers a permenant seat switch with Richard. JCW sings "There may be trouble ahead". Everyone takes a red lolly apart from Alex, he goes for green.
17th Nov 2003
JCW makes a convincing actor,possible career. Lord of the Rings DVD noted on his table,unprofessional.Belinda reads wrong paragraph after not paying attention.
20th Nov
JCW goes "Ssssssh". Claims he has "Damon on his mind". Realizes there is a diary going on and is very impressed. Gareth takes all the credit. Belinda writes the best letter and gets a smiley face. Gareth's is funnier which is what he wanted. Belinda shows off and asks JCW to post hers off. JCW smiles and ignores her,knowing shes gone too far. Richard Hawkes burps.
27 Nov 2003
Room change! Selina thinks she is "a crap reader" , JCW "begs to differ". Sammy reads the diary. Bekki Phillips is a 'cow racist' , a term coined by Gareth. JCW banks at Barclays. Sammy plays hard to get. Gareth is the 7th best kisser out of 42 according to Bekki. Gareth wants this printed onto a framed certificate.
1st Dec 2003
Gareth has 'Fastest Finger', beating Richard at maths. Gets up to 1,000 pounds.Damon lets him down as his phone a friend. Weakest Link played,Brown only person to get every question right.
4th Dec 2003
JCW 'No Show' Second day in a row Belinda hasn't had a lesson"Starting to piss her right off".Richard swears.
8th Dec 2003
Belinda sings like Cartman. JCW 'changes' Gareth is "Pissed off with GMTV". Belinda has poor nails.
16 Dec 2003
Diary extended to some of Mrs Thomas's lessons (JAT) JAT tries German accent,fails spectacularly. JAT "refuses to give us the page reference" and cracks after three seconds.
JAT on self efficiency "It wasn't Bandura's complete baby" - Brilliant quote!
18 Dec 2003
JCW attempts to rap,fails. Promises 'Crazy Stuff'. Selina claims she has "Had enough of Gareth this year" JCW "Cant stress it enough" and inspires class. Richard wants too much for Christmas.JCW talks about lesbians too much.Lizzie has 'Bad attitude problem'
8th Jan 2003
Belinda produces a work of art - so does Gareth but to a lesser extent. Alex's border artwork produces a tear from Gareth
9th Jan 2004
Gareth asks "a very intelligent question" . JCW freaked out when he realises Gareth has learned half the textbook over Christmas.Gareth = Rain Man.
12 Jan 2004
JCW raps - the world is stunned,proof that he is white. Belinda copywrites about a million songs during the lesson.
15th Jan 2004
Gareth is wearing a a football ref shirt,possible new system for clearing the common room with yellow and red cards. JCW asks us to do "The mother of all tasks". Gareth claims Mr Bump from the Mr Men has Münchhausen Syndrome.JCW dares Gareth to put this in the exam.
Richard "Thought it would work,but it didn't"
Gareth "Thought he could get a joke in there somewhere but failed"
Richard gets the capital of Greenland wrong,thought it was Reykjavik.
19th Jan 2004
JCW takes the register and says "Superb" when he finds out Gareth's here. Nothing when Belinda's name is said.Tone of disappointment where she isn't wanted.
22 Jan 2004
JCW is "confident" Belinda,too stubborn. Gareth is kicked under the table twice. JCW delivers a pun. JCW nicks Gareth's Mr Man idea.Richard takes everyones food.
2nd Feb 2004
JCW guilty of assisting Gareth in two crimes. JCW shares a porno script with the rest of the class, best lesson ever! Class refuse to acknowledge Gareth whenever he insists something is not funny. Three times everyone laughs when he makes a serious point.Gareth claims he has "bought this on himself". Gareth winds up Belinda,has a nasty feeling it will backfire.
5th Feb 2004
Belinda says "Shut Up" in a weird voice. She cant believe someone has set her up.Gareth can,quite easily.JCW and Rich find it hilarious as well. JCW has a theory on how Welsh accents change into Indian ones. JCW 'Bends the Rules' for Becky. Belinda does a sheep accent.. Richard "Isn't promising anything", produces moment of the year with Jamaican accent. JCW "Thats kinda young isn't it Bob"
9th Feb 2004
Gareth turns up late. Refuses to read from the book until everyone is silent.Injects discipline into the class.
11th Feb 2004
JAT comes up with fantastic quotes
"The ranking should be done slowly until your comfortable with it" and "So now we should all be good at ranking". JAT uses the word 'Onerous' - "I dont want you thinking this is a particularly onerous piece of work"
12th Feb 2004
JCW has a tiny bottle of water on his desk,Gareth worries about his daily fluid intake.JCW cracks off a brilliant Micheal Jackson joke and gives out 'Life Tips' . Selina reads JCW's mind.
JCW - "And he got it into his head ' I'm going to design this bloody light bulb' "
Richard doesn't know what acrimonious means. Tries to redeem himself with a joke and fails. JCW described as "Yoda with a beard" Selina takes JCW too seriously "No you cant talk in court".
JCW "Fizz should leave Corrie and join the rest of the Tweenies"
22 Feb 2004
No Gareth! JCW tries to give out a 'Whiley Top Tip' - fails. JCW uses the term 'Snog City'
26 Feb 2004
Gareth takes 8 mins to eat a McFlurry,JCW excited of 'Phillippa murder' JCW "Wants you to get off on the internet" Jerry Springer show discussed, Skinny man raped by fat women.
1 Mar 2004
Belinda comes in late,claims she was in town and "Forgot the time" - Rubbish! Gareth restyles his hair "Has a curtains thing going on",breaks Charlotte's heart.
4 Mar 2004
JCW does a window pun in a criminal voice. Discussion of how Gareth would fare in a fight. 'Bush Boy', one of JCW's mates at school. Selina wants Star Trek toilet doors, Gareth agrees. Alex shares out his malteasers,top man. Class impressed with Gareth Malteaser party trick,keeps a malteaser in the air for 7 seconds.
Alex "JCW,not just a pretty face"
18 Mar 2004
Gareth gives hilarious townie descriptions. Damon uses Gareth's material (with permission) for class humor. Selina threatens JCW again,leaves JCW upset. Sammy "Knows what she means but cant get it out". Selina says "Bitch",not a good example for head girl. Belinda wastes cherry airwave. JCW chucks around sultanas. JCW calls Damon 'Ugly',Damon doesn't mind.
22 Mar 2004
JCW 'commits crime' - steals Alex scarf and bag. Looks like a young John Shaft.
29 Mar 2004
JCW provides a new table arrangement,Gareth sits by Damon and promptly enlightens class with humor and creativity. Start of a beautiful new friendship (in a non gay way) Belinda sits away from Gareth,looks depressed.
19 Apr 2004
Selina's first lesson of not being head girl,Gareth determined not to bring it up. JCW and Damon become film Critics.
Damon "It's a good film"
JCW "It's a very good film"
JCW "Nicking a packet of bonbons - forty years"
Richard "Lock them in irons!"
Belinda doesn't know how many 0's in a billion despite getting an 'a' in business.
21 April 2004
Richard is "On a different trip" JPT pulls off a bit of a hand jive.
JAT - "Its going to be a bit bitty" "Have you touched on the work of Hans"
22 April 2004
JCW "Townies deck their cars like giant penises". Damon on rape - "I'd just lie back and enjoy it"
6 May
JCW wants 'honesty', Gareth gives it. Exams 42 days away.
10 May 2004
Gareth and Damon colour coordinated. Tash is dressed as a golfer. Richard discriminant to dwarfs.
Alex "All Japs look the same... like in Rush Hour 2"
JCW (to me) "I hope your getting this down, I'm not getting done for racism and he gets away with it"
JCW "Jamaicans all wear big hats"
12 May 2004
JPT says...."Hedge your bets","My bet is" etc - gives about 15 hot tips,does she know whats in the paper?
"Smells like a ham sandwich in here"
"They were like little terriers,yap yap yap yap"
13th May 2004
JCW is "In the mood to shop" . JCW advises "Screw authority,get a tattoo saying 'Get Lost',or something worse"
19 May 2004
JAT "Anybody here know what 'Dogma' means?"
Gareth "Can you catch it?"
20 May 2004
JCW uses the term "Spooning and Mooning"
24 May 2004
JCW promises a quiz and then goes back on his word. Fiona laughs ant Gareth stuttering attempt to read from the book. JCW tries to kick start a quiz at 15.23 but fails.
26 May 2004
JAT "That makes C.I.N.T...which I have to pronounce very carefully"
27 May 2004
Fiona and Liz take a 21 minute break. JCW socks says 'P is for Perfect',blatantly an unwanted Christmas gift!
7 June
Attempts to lighten revision fail when noone apart from Gareth plays along to 'Video snap'. Gareth admits hes only doing it out of exam fear.
10 June 2004
Last ever psychology lesson! No one brings in a pen. Quiz! Richard lets the side down on the Harry Potter round. Emotional time for Fiona,Selina and Gareth,four years of Whiley come to an end. JCW gets the round of applause he deserves at the end. Lesson ends one minute early. The diary ends here.....
I promise I'll finish off Exmoor part 2 (from what I can still remember of it) and the other stuff I've been up to soon, but I've been meaning to get this post out the way for about four years so i'll nail it today as it seems a really appropriate time.
When your in 6th form,your lessons seemed to be more fun. You're not wearing uniform (or the disgusting white polo shirts we started wearing) , you call the teacher by the first name and have regular access to the coffee machine where you could get a cup of truly awful mud water for just 35p, (a lot of my Tesco wages must have gone there).
For me,psychology lessons were my favorite because of the atmosphere of the class. It was in fact,so much fun that I started to record the random things that happened in each class from the back of the room,alongside Richard Hawkes and Belinda my right hand man (and woman) in the hope of typing them up into the blog one day.
Now seems a really good time to do this and dedicate the post to two people.
Jason Whiley left Clarendon this winter and taught me since I was 14.He was one of the best and most popular teachers around and I learned more about life from him and ways to look at the world then any one else at Clarendon and was a really relaxed and brilliant guy to have teach you (apart from about Watergate). Jase, its a big thanks to you that I am who I am today,whether it's writing religious stories with Arsenal players involved,or THAT phone call to Bristol Zoo. Cheers for your support and you'll be a big loss to the Clarendon kids coming up this year.
The other guy is Lee Anteney who was a mate since year 7 and in the same psychology class. When you read through the blog entry you'll notice he's not mentioned. Thats because Lee didn't have to show off like me to get attention and be popular, he was always himself and so polite to everyone. He was the very definition of a nice guy.
My favorite memory of him is two years ago playing a series game against the year below. Lee was running towards their goal and had beaten about 2 players already and found himself with just the keeper to beat with an easy finish,whilst I'm sprinting/waddling up the pitch screaming for the ball. Rather then take the glory,Lee passes it to me and I just swing at air with an open goal and fall over. Lee just looks at me in the mud and we both laugh as he helps me up.
I'm really sorry Lee that I didn't make more effort to see you when I found out you were ill and a few texts from me was nowhere near enough. I was too worried about my little problems like my break up and MA course beginning. Thank you so much for the memories and thanks for being such a good mate,I wont forget you.
RIP
...........................................................................
The Psychology Diaries
20th Oct 2003
Flying Saucers bought. Lesson starts late. Whiley (JCW) is wearing purple - AGAIN!. Flying Saucers NOT good value for money,will stick to malteasers in future. Selina puts on her glasses and finds a penny in the case. JCW gets closing to yelling - rare occurance,is he stressed? Beckys boyfriend apparently 'shakes' .Debate if JCW is Scottish. Lesson ends 3 mins early.
23rd Oct 2003
JCW isn't in.Chaos reigns. No one plays Pictionary with Gareth,leaving him distraught. Belinda tidies her bag, she has pretty much all of Boots stock in it. Selina and Yvonne swap with each others diets for a day. Highlight of a poor hour.
3rd Nov 2003
Belinda ruins Gareth 2 hour essay and thinks its funny. JCW attempts American accent and fails. Gareth moves away from Belinda and sits next to Damon. Belinda looks distraught on her own and cant cope. Gareth is more cheerful immediately.
6th Nov 2003
JCW swears? Debate if 'Piss' is a swear word. Selina asks "a very intelligent question" JCW attempts to impersonate Tintin ,fails. He then tells a crap joke and claims he got it from his four year old daughter. Shows the class crap colouring in and claims it is from his four year old daughter.No one believes him.
10th Nov 2003
No Belinda,Gareth struggles to be the joker of the class and write the diary at the same time. Buys Ferreo Roche to annoy her when she comes back. Gareth finishes work first and considers a permenant seat switch with Richard. JCW sings "There may be trouble ahead". Everyone takes a red lolly apart from Alex, he goes for green.
17th Nov 2003
JCW makes a convincing actor,possible career. Lord of the Rings DVD noted on his table,unprofessional.Belinda reads wrong paragraph after not paying attention.
20th Nov
JCW goes "Ssssssh". Claims he has "Damon on his mind". Realizes there is a diary going on and is very impressed. Gareth takes all the credit. Belinda writes the best letter and gets a smiley face. Gareth's is funnier which is what he wanted. Belinda shows off and asks JCW to post hers off. JCW smiles and ignores her,knowing shes gone too far. Richard Hawkes burps.
27 Nov 2003
Room change! Selina thinks she is "a crap reader" , JCW "begs to differ". Sammy reads the diary. Bekki Phillips is a 'cow racist' , a term coined by Gareth. JCW banks at Barclays. Sammy plays hard to get. Gareth is the 7th best kisser out of 42 according to Bekki. Gareth wants this printed onto a framed certificate.
1st Dec 2003
Gareth has 'Fastest Finger', beating Richard at maths. Gets up to 1,000 pounds.Damon lets him down as his phone a friend. Weakest Link played,Brown only person to get every question right.
4th Dec 2003
JCW 'No Show' Second day in a row Belinda hasn't had a lesson"Starting to piss her right off".Richard swears.
8th Dec 2003
Belinda sings like Cartman. JCW 'changes' Gareth is "Pissed off with GMTV". Belinda has poor nails.
16 Dec 2003
Diary extended to some of Mrs Thomas's lessons (JAT) JAT tries German accent,fails spectacularly. JAT "refuses to give us the page reference" and cracks after three seconds.
JAT on self efficiency "It wasn't Bandura's complete baby" - Brilliant quote!
18 Dec 2003
JCW attempts to rap,fails. Promises 'Crazy Stuff'. Selina claims she has "Had enough of Gareth this year" JCW "Cant stress it enough" and inspires class. Richard wants too much for Christmas.JCW talks about lesbians too much.Lizzie has 'Bad attitude problem'
8th Jan 2003
Belinda produces a work of art - so does Gareth but to a lesser extent. Alex's border artwork produces a tear from Gareth
9th Jan 2004
Gareth asks "a very intelligent question" . JCW freaked out when he realises Gareth has learned half the textbook over Christmas.Gareth = Rain Man.
12 Jan 2004
JCW raps - the world is stunned,proof that he is white. Belinda copywrites about a million songs during the lesson.
15th Jan 2004
Gareth is wearing a a football ref shirt,possible new system for clearing the common room with yellow and red cards. JCW asks us to do "The mother of all tasks". Gareth claims Mr Bump from the Mr Men has Münchhausen Syndrome.JCW dares Gareth to put this in the exam.
Richard "Thought it would work,but it didn't"
Gareth "Thought he could get a joke in there somewhere but failed"
Richard gets the capital of Greenland wrong,thought it was Reykjavik.
19th Jan 2004
JCW takes the register and says "Superb" when he finds out Gareth's here. Nothing when Belinda's name is said.Tone of disappointment where she isn't wanted.
22 Jan 2004
JCW is "confident" Belinda,too stubborn. Gareth is kicked under the table twice. JCW delivers a pun. JCW nicks Gareth's Mr Man idea.Richard takes everyones food.
2nd Feb 2004
JCW guilty of assisting Gareth in two crimes. JCW shares a porno script with the rest of the class, best lesson ever! Class refuse to acknowledge Gareth whenever he insists something is not funny. Three times everyone laughs when he makes a serious point.Gareth claims he has "bought this on himself". Gareth winds up Belinda,has a nasty feeling it will backfire.
5th Feb 2004
Belinda says "Shut Up" in a weird voice. She cant believe someone has set her up.Gareth can,quite easily.JCW and Rich find it hilarious as well. JCW has a theory on how Welsh accents change into Indian ones. JCW 'Bends the Rules' for Becky. Belinda does a sheep accent.. Richard "Isn't promising anything", produces moment of the year with Jamaican accent. JCW "Thats kinda young isn't it Bob"
9th Feb 2004
Gareth turns up late. Refuses to read from the book until everyone is silent.Injects discipline into the class.
11th Feb 2004
JAT comes up with fantastic quotes
"The ranking should be done slowly until your comfortable with it" and "So now we should all be good at ranking". JAT uses the word 'Onerous' - "I dont want you thinking this is a particularly onerous piece of work"
12th Feb 2004
JCW has a tiny bottle of water on his desk,Gareth worries about his daily fluid intake.JCW cracks off a brilliant Micheal Jackson joke and gives out 'Life Tips' . Selina reads JCW's mind.
JCW - "And he got it into his head ' I'm going to design this bloody light bulb' "
Richard doesn't know what acrimonious means. Tries to redeem himself with a joke and fails. JCW described as "Yoda with a beard" Selina takes JCW too seriously "No you cant talk in court".
JCW "Fizz should leave Corrie and join the rest of the Tweenies"
22 Feb 2004
No Gareth! JCW tries to give out a 'Whiley Top Tip' - fails. JCW uses the term 'Snog City'
26 Feb 2004
Gareth takes 8 mins to eat a McFlurry,JCW excited of 'Phillippa murder' JCW "Wants you to get off on the internet" Jerry Springer show discussed, Skinny man raped by fat women.
1 Mar 2004
Belinda comes in late,claims she was in town and "Forgot the time" - Rubbish! Gareth restyles his hair "Has a curtains thing going on",breaks Charlotte's heart.
4 Mar 2004
JCW does a window pun in a criminal voice. Discussion of how Gareth would fare in a fight. 'Bush Boy', one of JCW's mates at school. Selina wants Star Trek toilet doors, Gareth agrees. Alex shares out his malteasers,top man. Class impressed with Gareth Malteaser party trick,keeps a malteaser in the air for 7 seconds.
Alex "JCW,not just a pretty face"
18 Mar 2004
Gareth gives hilarious townie descriptions. Damon uses Gareth's material (with permission) for class humor. Selina threatens JCW again,leaves JCW upset. Sammy "Knows what she means but cant get it out". Selina says "Bitch",not a good example for head girl. Belinda wastes cherry airwave. JCW chucks around sultanas. JCW calls Damon 'Ugly',Damon doesn't mind.
22 Mar 2004
JCW 'commits crime' - steals Alex scarf and bag. Looks like a young John Shaft.
29 Mar 2004
JCW provides a new table arrangement,Gareth sits by Damon and promptly enlightens class with humor and creativity. Start of a beautiful new friendship (in a non gay way) Belinda sits away from Gareth,looks depressed.
19 Apr 2004
Selina's first lesson of not being head girl,Gareth determined not to bring it up. JCW and Damon become film Critics.
Damon "It's a good film"
JCW "It's a very good film"
JCW "Nicking a packet of bonbons - forty years"
Richard "Lock them in irons!"
Belinda doesn't know how many 0's in a billion despite getting an 'a' in business.
21 April 2004
Richard is "On a different trip" JPT pulls off a bit of a hand jive.
JAT - "Its going to be a bit bitty" "Have you touched on the work of Hans"
22 April 2004
JCW "Townies deck their cars like giant penises". Damon on rape - "I'd just lie back and enjoy it"
6 May
JCW wants 'honesty', Gareth gives it. Exams 42 days away.
10 May 2004
Gareth and Damon colour coordinated. Tash is dressed as a golfer. Richard discriminant to dwarfs.
Alex "All Japs look the same... like in Rush Hour 2"
JCW (to me) "I hope your getting this down, I'm not getting done for racism and he gets away with it"
JCW "Jamaicans all wear big hats"
12 May 2004
JPT says...."Hedge your bets","My bet is" etc - gives about 15 hot tips,does she know whats in the paper?
"Smells like a ham sandwich in here"
"They were like little terriers,yap yap yap yap"
13th May 2004
JCW is "In the mood to shop" . JCW advises "Screw authority,get a tattoo saying 'Get Lost',or something worse"
19 May 2004
JAT "Anybody here know what 'Dogma' means?"
Gareth "Can you catch it?"
20 May 2004
JCW uses the term "Spooning and Mooning"
24 May 2004
JCW promises a quiz and then goes back on his word. Fiona laughs ant Gareth stuttering attempt to read from the book. JCW tries to kick start a quiz at 15.23 but fails.
26 May 2004
JAT "That makes C.I.N.T...which I have to pronounce very carefully"
27 May 2004
Fiona and Liz take a 21 minute break. JCW socks says 'P is for Perfect',blatantly an unwanted Christmas gift!
7 June
Attempts to lighten revision fail when noone apart from Gareth plays along to 'Video snap'. Gareth admits hes only doing it out of exam fear.
10 June 2004
Last ever psychology lesson! No one brings in a pen. Quiz! Richard lets the side down on the Harry Potter round. Emotional time for Fiona,Selina and Gareth,four years of Whiley come to an end. JCW gets the round of applause he deserves at the end. Lesson ends one minute early. The diary ends here.....

